Happy Birthday Jude and Luke!

The following is what I had previously written to Luke last November on his birthday.  I never published it.  However, with Jude's birthday right around the corner, I started feeling some of the same feelings again and wanted to share...

It's that time again...

time when I reflect on time (times past, times now and what the future may hold) and parenthood (what have I done thus far that has been successful and what will I think back on in 20 years and wish I had done differently)... what is my legacy ???

David and I were chatting last night about one of the greatest men (most respected, rather) that he has ever known personally... Gary Grantham.  Gary means more to David than he will ever know, but our conversation left me thinking about Gary in a different way. 

Gary lost his daughter at age 11 or 12 to a tragic boating accident many years ago... David was a senior in high school.  Up to that point David had been visiting Gary's house, after ball practing hours were over, to have Gary help him with math (Gary was David's math teacher and math was not David's strongest subject).  When tutoring was over, the standard popcorn and television (probably Andy Griffith) was in session.  Think about all the many life lessons that are learned over a bowl of popcorn?

You see, this had been going on between David and Gary since David was probably in the 7th or 8th grade up until he was in the 10th or 11th grade.  Many, MANY bowls of popcorn.  So, on that terrible day, when David heard about Gary's daughter, he rushed to the local hospital and found this pillar of strength bent low, kneeling against a wall and crying immensely.  David walked up to him and Gary grabbed him.  These are times that words can not explain...
they just are ~
  These are times when no words are necessary... when love is wrapped up in an embrace such as this...This moment forever changed my husband.

And then there is Jerry Grantham, Gary's brother. 

Jerry and David have spent many, many hours together on the ball field.  From about the time of 15 or so, David and Jeff Linder was with Jerry Grantham weekend after weekend... playing in softball tournaments.  They would leave early in the morning, stay gone and play all day, come home and be at worship services on Sunday morning.  David's mother not once worried that David would be in harm's way... he was with Jerry after all!  This went on for weekends on end.  Sportsmanship, competition, friendship, teamwork... many things are learned on a ballfield.

These experiences have permanently shaped my husband.

And then there is Scott Bowers, David's brother. 

With five years separating them at birth and very different personalities, their early years took them in different directions.  But time has a way of bringing you full circle.  As different as they are, their young adult and adult lives have paralled  in many ways.  They both earned college scholarships to play baseball at George Wallace Commuity College in Dothan, AL.  There they both experienced playing on a State Championship team (just not in the same year... remember, they are five years apart!)  They then continued their baseball career at Faulkner University in Montgomery, AL.  Later, they heeded the call of overseas life and both headed to Moscow, Russia where the introduction of foreign service lifestyles began. 

Both David and Scott have had (and Scott still is) the opportunities to work for the U.S State Department.  Their recreational activities have left the ballfield and find them swinging golfs clubs as opposed to baseball bats!  Scott has two boys... David has two boys.  They have many things to connect them together now.  However... I will give Scott the credit here.  He decided a long time ago that if he and David were to have a relationship as grown men, he would do the 'reaching out'.  He knew that time and distance had played an important part in making him realize what is most important in life.  And he wanted David in it.  He reached out and David responded and the rest is history.  Thank you Scott for mentoring to David in that way. 

And then there is Jeff Linder.

  I almost teared up just now when I typed his name.  I guess I should have probably typed Uncle Jeff, because that is what he is most commonly known as around this household.  David cannot remember his life without Jeff Linder.  Becky Ganous, Jeff's aunt, started tending to David when he was a few months old.  She kept Jeff too.  They have always been together.  These two have very similar personalities which is why they bonded so well as small children.  All the time spent together provided for years of memories which further strengthened their relationship...baseball, football, Alabama anything!, FAITH, golfing, ~ you name it!  Mine and David's entire married life has included the Linders.  We see each other most summers and they have made the trips north to see us... whereever that may be!  Months can go by without the two of them speaking, but they pick right back up where they left off.  When David got tickets to the Alabama Championship Game out in Pasadena, California... Jeff was on his radar!  Jeff knows David and David knows Jeff... inside and out.  There is no fluff with either of them.  There isn't any show... 
they just are. 

Real and Simple...

Most importantly would be Donnie Bowers, David's dad.

  I met Donnie in the fall of '96.  He was working in Hong Kong at the time (I think!).  My first impression of Donnie was easy.  He is a simple man.  He speaks simple.  He eats simple.  He walks simple.  He wants simple.  And he lives simple.  What you see with Donnie Bowers is what you get.  I appreciate that about him.  He doesn't try to impress anyone. 

Donnie hasn't physically been around mine and David's family that much due to the fact that Donnie works and lives overseas.  Yes, he is 71 and is currently living and working in Senegal, Africa.  But he has made a legacy of sorts with his own life.  He has raised both Scott and David honestly and simply.  He has shown them what a commitment it is to take care of one's family.  He tells me that he is praying daily for our family, specifically Luke and Jude and I believe him.  He provided the experience and wisdom for Scott and David while they were young and left them with a skillset to make their own decisions as grown men.  Not once has he ever intruded on mine and David's affairs.  If we error, if we make the wrong decision, we will learn and that will be for the best.  Sometimes I wonder how our lives would have turned out like, if Scott and David weren't so independent... and then I am thankful for Donnie's example.

What all these men have in common is they have mentored my husband in a very profound way.  They have positively impressed upon David what to do with an impressionable young boy and young man.

Now that we have two of our own and the impressionable years are upon us, I am thankful for Gary and Jerry.  I am thankful for Scott, Jeff and Donnie... just to name a few.  There are others like Benny Speigner and Granddaddy Speigner... like Mark Ward and Donnie Chesteen.  Most recently would be my father, Tony Cleveland, Don Minor and the golf group from Warners Chapel.  You all have a special place in the life of my husband and for that I am grateful.

Your teachings have helped to help my husband train our sons.  The older I get the more David gets it right and I get it wrong.  I see so much more wisdom in him now.  Why didn't I give him the same chances many years ago... oh well, you live and learn, right.  At least I am learning.

So what does this all have to do with Luke's birthday???  Well, Luke is 11 today (remember this was last November).  And yesterday he was just a baby.  Where does the time go?  I know that in a blink he will be out the door and I am thankful today for the teachings of all those men that have indirectly influenced him via his father.  And I know that David is praying diligently everyday for his family and for God's will to be done.  It all goes together. 

Last year was a hard birthday for me with Luke (he entered into double digits!).  This year I see a fun loving, impressionable, young boy who is sorting out daily who he is and what he stands for.  He is working it out in his own way. 

There hasn't been too many Gary's and Jerry's in Luke's life... but there is a David.  And right now, that's all that matters. 

A continuation for Jude ~
Next Tuesday you will begin your last year in single digits.  In nine short years you have taught your dad and I so much.  God has given you on loan to us to train up, to teach, and to prepare you for a life of service to HIM.  But what is most surprising is how insightful you already are.  Naturally, there are some things that are a 'work in progress'... but the core of who you are is honest and true.  You desire to do good and to help and to serve.  Thank you for helping to 'polish and sharpen' your father and I as we strive to 'polish and sharpen' you...

'Happy 9th Birthday, Jude!'
Know that we are fervently praying for you and your brother... 
We love you dearly ~ Mommy and Daddy